Art innit? A goalkeeper’s story

When the wonderful Mary Hannigan wrote in last Monday’s Irish Times of the bizarre artistic efforts of Derby County’s Stephen Bywater I had to take a closer look.

For once Hannigan was almost lost for words, but of course she found some:

“The Derby County goalkeeper insisted the work he, eh, created in his back garden was a ‘masterpiece’ but the couple next door were so offended they called the police.

It’s quite difficult to describe, but the masterpiece features a horse-box and portable loo covered in graffiti, with a blow-up doll, six feet long plastic genitals, a traffic cone and wind chimes decorating the work. The words ‘Piece, Love and Dave’ are sprayed on the horse-box. Asked about ‘piece’, Bywater vowed ‘to use a dictionary next time’.”

The view from the neighbour's. Yikes.

According to the Daily Mail (responsible for these photographs) these artistic efforts are part of a long running dispute with the neighbours over the sale (or lack thereof) of land behind Bywater’s house to the art maestro.

Not sure if the project worked as Bywater has since covered the "masterpiece" and also promised to remove it.

Bywater isn't the only English goalie who thinks he has a gift for contemporary art. However it didn’t take too complicated an undercover operation to expose David James as something of an art spoof: Rio Ferdinand, not particularly known for his smarts, managed to outwit him...