Alternative World Cricket XIs (Part 2)

I'll have none of your T20 stuff

As mentioned previously, the team over at espnCricinfo have been working for well over a year to name the all time greatest world cricket team as selected by a panel of cricketing experts. (The panel is made up by former Test captains from all the major cricketing nations, along with a number of cricketing historians and top notch writers.)

A number of alternative teams – each centred around a specific theme – were released in the run up to the big announcement. I posted about three of them already and now I am listing four more.

Yes things are indeed that exciting.

For your money (and your life) by David Frith, cricket writer and historian
David Frith has selected a Play-for-your-life XI who'll "do you proud when it's a choice between not losing and heading to the gas chamber." Eh ok... Spose if Bill Shankly had chosen cricket instead of football as his game he would prove the ideal manager of this lot. Onions' inclusion is a touch bewildering, a little funny and overwhelmingly topical. Injury has stopped him going Down Under.

Nice guys finish first by Ramachandra Guha, writer of cricket history among other things
Ramachandra Guha's Gentlemen XI are those cricketers "who'd break your spirit and shake your hand." Interesting choices here. Note that Guha says that the likes of Adam Gilchrist "stand out because of the contrast between them and their colleagues." Cutting.

On the other hand by Mike Selvey, former Test player, now a cricket writer
Mike Selvey's Lefties XI does not refer to the political ideology of the team (I spose). In a game with lots of right handers it is interesting to see the number of high quality southpaws who have made their mark on the game. Were it not for a slight weakness in the bowling department, this team would win any game against any other.

Over their dead bodies by Peter Roebuck, former player, now a cricket columnist
Peter Roebuck's has gone for a Stodgy XI made up of "slowpokes who will test the patience of the fiercest opponents and the tolerance of the most obdurate viewers." Interesting stuff – maybe the like of Jacques Kallis will forever continue to slip through all of these imagined teams for being either too good (as is the case in this team) or not good enough (as is the case for the World Eleven which was finally chosen).

Play-for-your-life XI	Gentlemen XI	Lefties XI	Stodgy XI
Geoffrey Boycott	Jack Hobbs	Matthew Hayden	Glenn Turner
Bill Ponsford	Victor Trumper	Justin Langer	Geoff Boycott
Don Bradman	George Headley	Graeme Pollock	Herbert Sutcliffe
Ken Barrington	Vijay Hazare	Brian Lara	Bill Woodfull
Sachin Tendulkar	Garry Sobers	Clive Lloyd	Douglas Jardine
Shivnarine Chanderpaul	Keith Miller	Garry Sobers	Ken Mackay
Trevor Bailey	Adam Gilchrist	Adam Gilchrist	Jack Russell
Ken Mackay	Anil Kumble	Wasim Akram	Trevor Goddard
Jack Russell	Derek Underwood	Alan Davidson	Bapu Nadkarni
Graham Onions	Curtly Ambrose	Bishan Bedi	Charlie "Terror" Turner
Danny Morrison	Lance Gibbs	Johnny Wardle	Glenn McGrath

For more info on all of these teams check out cricinfo's specialised page for the World XI.

Andy

"When I was young, when I surfed,
I surfed because Kelly Slater did it
I surfed because it was hyped
I surfed because it got chicks
I surfed because it was the party
I surfed because it got the cool car
and I got all those cool things and they all just became just - eh, just like you know - just stuff.

"But it's all about the feeling I get from riding that wave."
— Andy Irons

Click here, here or here for more.

Epic Star Wars Soccer

I have made a major discovery.

The the best way to watch a soccer match is when you have queued up the Stars Wars soundtrack to play in the background.

In fact I think it's the only way anyone can watch soccer on their own for more than 15 mins.

'Course it's crucial to get the sound levels just right. You want to be able to hear a bit of the crowd and the occasional cliché from the commentators but at the same time, remember, this is soccer: it's boring.

So you need the music loud enough make it interesting. 60 - 40 in favour of the Death Star motif will do.

Seriously give it a go.

I watched a bit of the Liverpool - Wigan draw the other night to the Lord of the Rings OST. It was actually quite entertaining.

Bizzare I know: Liverpool and entertaining used in the same sentence without a shred of irony.

Nothing compares to hearing a snippets from Martin Tyler ("Dirk Kyut is making his way towards the sideline. Yes it looks like playing three games in a week is catching up with him...") to the cheerful wooden pipe led tune of Hobbiton.

After all, everything is better with tin whistles and double bassses.

So ok it's not quite the Wizard of Oz to Darkside of the Moon but seeing as it's live and you want to keep up apperances with your knowledge of the "beautiful" game, I reckon it's an alright ploy.

Ok so maybe lego Star Wars fussball is a bit too nerdy - even for me...

A bad week

It's been a terrible week or so for sport. At least I think it has.

Talks between Serie A clubs and the player's association broke down with the real possiblity of an all out strike at the end of the month.

The World cycling authority UCI demanded swift action against triple Tour de France champion Alberto Contador for illegal doping.

After hitting the winning runs for Pakistan in a sensational One Day match against South Africa, unbeknownest to his team, Zulqarnain Haider secretly fled his team's hotel on the eve of the deciding match of the series, travelled by plane to London, sought political asylum and announced his retirement from cricket after receiving death threats for refusing to throw games. It's being reported that he was ordered to "get in line" for the last game of the series and that his family have also been threatened.

Andy Irons, the iconic virtuoso, former world champion, and (arguably without doubt) the greatest surfer most charismatic in history was found dead in his hotel room.

Photo: "Fir0002/Flagstaffotos"

If you think the last week has been dramatic just look back on it in a year's time. Maybe it will be a watershed. Maybe it'll be a turning point. Or maybe not. It has been a crazy week though.

This was the week Johnny Murtagh left Ballydoyle, the most coveted horse racing stable in the world.

This was the week Valentino Rossi, the most successful Moto GP rider of all time, began his greatest challenge ever by testing his new team's Ducati for the first time.

This was the week three time world champion and world number won (before his suspension) John Higgins began his first snooker tournament after being banned for bringing the game into disrepute amid allegations of match fixing claims.

This has been a surprising, tough, nasty week and largely one to forget. But hope springs eternal and you never know, maybe the likes of Murtagh and Rossi will rise our spirits again and we will look back on this week as the spark of a new dawn in sport.

A hurricane hit Ireland on Sunday night. Surfers found a new wave. Things might be looking up already.

Aprés Match

Some say fact is funnier than fiction. Eh...

"That's what they should do there."

"I do. Look, I'm gonna show them to you. Da Dah!"

Of course satire can always ruffle a few feathers.

Zig and Zag (and maths)

Ireland team to play Chile 1991

The Context:
Ireland, 1991. Lansdowne Road. A friendly against Chile. Some new buckos try their hand in the commentary booth and another begins his career on the field.

The Question:
(Ray D'Arcy, Zig and Zag) + (Bill O'Herlihy, Eamonn Dunphy and Johnny Giles) = what?

The Answer:
Billo Hurling, Amoan Grumpy and Johnny Styles.

9 Darters for free

I've got the Power. Like Bruce

There have been, there are, and there will always be people who are better at doing something than anyone else, e.g. the Don (Bradman), McCoy (AP not the fake one) and Jordan (Michael of course). Am I right?

Phil Taylor is one of these people. He has seen off the challenges of many darting greats: Bristow, Priestley, Part, van Barneveld. He has smashed all records and (one hesitates to say this but at the same time) one wonders if his records will ever be broken. FFS 15 World Championships are included in the 150+ tournaments he has picked up.