George Hook reacts to Ireland vs Italy

"I don't have a bandana on my head and a crystal ball in front of me. I can't foretell the future."

Ah go on George.

Newstalk 106-108 (Youtube)

Irish rugby players and their babies

Paul O'Connell with his son Paddy



Mike Ross with his son Kevin



Leo Cullen with a pre-emtive kid's jersey following his marriage last June



Jamie Kneeslip Heslip with his bulldog Jay-Z

Irish rugby boys posed for photos this week before heading off to New Zealand for the World Cup.

And yes that is Jamie Healsip's bulldog and yes... he is named Jay-Z.

Ireland 2011 Rugby World Cup Squad Portraits (Irish Times, Photographs INPHO/Billy Stickland)

Neil Francis: What you didn't know

 

Normally I'm not really interested in the whole let's-abuse-wikipedia's-open-editing-policy-and-change-the-personal-biographies-of-celebrities-with-hilarious-false-events.

But the latest changes to Neil Francis's wikipedia page made me spit milk through my nose.

Here are some of the highlights.

Example 1 (philanthropy):

"Francis' tireless efforts in the name of world preservation are well known. In 1978, he secretly restored a 15,000 sq ft Aztec temple, buried under 500 feet of mud since 1675, using only an old Colgate toothbrush and a small thimble of white spirits, in two days."

"Francis' charity work in Latin America has earned him the nickname of "The Irish Kriss Akabusi"."

Example 2 (involvement in South America):

"His work in the Amazon rain forests has caused controversy however. Francis regularly shoots pumas and rare birds. From 1983 to 1987, Francis is believed to have killed over 950 big cats, 3 tortoises and 78 million flamingos. He also campaigned for the Galapagos Islands to be "wiped off the map" using an H bomb and on Christmas Eve 1989 he shot at Santa Claus, slightly injuring Prancer, the shock of the event forcing Blitzen into early retirement, something he said he'd never do."

Example 3 (technological achievments):

Francis claims to have invented XML in 1987 on the back of the 75 bus while having a cigarette. Amazingly he didn't even have a computer and the XML’s predecessor, HTML, hadnt even been invented. Later he denied even knowing what the internet was and rubbished claims he invented XML. He admitted in 2005 however, that he did indeed invent it along with the basic rules of nanotechnology on the duration of this 75 bus journey. 'I got on at Bakers Corner by the time I reached Stillorgan I had XML in the bag and on getting off at Marley park I had invented nanotechnology, boom'. Bill Gates recently described Francis as 'the father of nanotechnology' and 'a demon in the scratcher'."

Example 4 (funeral of Pope John Paul II)

"After kissing the text of the Book of the Gospels, Francis stood before the congregants to offer the homily in what was a 200 minute tribute to Pope John Paul II. Francis spoke to the single largest gathering of heads of state in history, surpassing the funerals of Winston Churchill (1965) and Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1948). According to magician Paul Daniels “he spoke like he was chatting to a small gathering of family members at Christmas dinner. It was a bloody enigma and yet entirely appropriate”. Four Kings, five Queens, at least seventy presidents and prime ministers and more than fourteen leaders of other religions attended. It is likely to have been the largest single gathering of Christianity in history, with numbers estimated in excess of four million. Francis spoke mainly in Latin, Italian and English but also recited a fourteen century poem from Poland in perfect Polish. He was interrupted approximately ten times with outbursts of applause by the congregants, the last one ending after seventeen minutes. Most heads of state were visibly shook with many in tears. The Dow Jones ended up closing 1000 points higher on the day and a 500ft bronze statue was erected the following year in Warsaw in honour of Francis."

Immature? Yes.

True? No.

Funny? You better believe it.

Stadium at Lansdowne Road to host 2013 Heineken Cup final

Aviva Stadium confirmed as venue for 2013 Heineken Cup Final (The Journal)

Brian O'Driscoll's thoughts on Martin Johnson

Martin who?

Irish maturity with BOD and ROG

1) Responsible driving

2) Rising above popularity contests

3) Forever faithful



God bless their little hearts.

Leinster champs

On the way to winning this year's Heineken Cup Leinster beat the best rugby teams in Europe.

The eventual winners (Toulouse, Leicester), runners up (Racing Métro, Saracens) and fourth placed teams (Clermont Auvergne, Northampton) of both the French and English leagues were all beaten by Leo Cullen's men.

Woop woop!



Man of the match Johnny Sexton scored 28 points: 2 tries, 3 conversions and 4 penalties. Hats off to him.

Leinster Heineken Cup 2010/2011 results

Pool Stage:
Leinster 38 - 22 Racing Métro
Saracens 23 - 25 Leinster
ASM Clermont Auvergne 20 - 13 Leinster
Leinster 24 - 8 ASM Clermont Auvergne
Leinster 43 - 20 Saracens
Racing Métro 11 - 36 Leinster

Quarter Final:
Leinster 17 - 10 Leicester

Semi Final:
Leinster 32 - 23 Toulouse

Final (held in Cardiff):
Leinster 32 - 23 Northampton Saints



RTE Picture Slideshow of Heineken Cup Final

LEEEEEEIIINSTOOOR!!!

En route to Cardiff for more European Cup glory. (We hope)

HEINEKEN CUP FINAL TEAMS - in order of winningness :)

Leinster: I Nacewa, S Horgan, B O'Driscoll, G D'Arcy, L Fitzgerald, J Sexton, E Reddan, C Healy, R Strauss, M Ross, L Cullen (Capt), N Hines, K McLaughlin, S O'Brien, J Heaslip. Replacements : J Harris-Wright, H van der Merwe, S Wright, D Toner, S Jennings, I Boss, I Madigan, F McFadden.

Northampton Saints: B Foden, C Ashton, J Clarke, J Downey, P Diggin, S Myler, L Dickson, S Tonga'uiha, D Hartley [capt], B Mujati, C Lawes, C Day, C Clark, P Dowson, R Wilson. Replacements : B Sharman, A Waller, T Mercey, M Sorenson, M Easter, S Commins, S Geraghty, J Ansbro.

O'Driscoll to start final in Cardiff (Irish Times)

Is this rugby?

It's certainly not cricket.

Thanks to Eclipse Chaser for the tip off.

(edit)
UPDATE

Video has since been removed. Probably because it was too graphic. Here's a picture of the incident to keep you going (Daily Mail)

It suffices to say that one rugby player got frustrated with another and decided to plant his fist on the other's face with extreme force. As punch ups go, it was a pretty brutal attack.

By the by did you know that Manu "punch-a-lot" Tuilagi (above, obviously) is the younger brother of Henry Tuilagi, Freddie Tuilagi, Alesana Tuilagi, Anitelia Tuilagi and Sanele Vavae Tuilagi, all of whom are Samoan rugby internationals?

Imagine Christmas dinner in that house. Oh Lordie.

For the three of you who haven't seen this yet

Don't know Dead Cat Bounce yet? Find them gigging in a town near you.

Ireland are going to win the Rugby World Cup

You heard it here first.

At 25/1 to win the thing Ireland are the bet of the year. You can even get them at 30s and 40s... *blushes*

Make it so Number 1 - d'eye mean - BOD.

BOD out foxes McCaw (again)

Willie Anderson accepts the challenge of the haka (1989)

Munster haka vs the All Blacks (2008)

Best goals ever. Dude.

I don't care what you say.

Click for the videos

Dude looks like a Lady

Troy Polamalu is a not just an American Football player. Troy Polamalu is not just a man destined to shatter records. Troy Polamalu is a man with a lot of hair.

I mean, man alive that’s a lot of hair

©intentionalfoul.com

Of course long hair has its benefits for sponsorship and all that but it can also have its negative effects on the field; like when you are tackled by your hair as you are about to score a touchdown. Still Troy says he hasn’t cut his hair since 2000.

And the hair hasn't held him back. In his Pittsburgh Steelers’ opening eight games last year they made eleven turnovers in the four games Polamalu played while making only two in the four games he missed through injury. In a sport so dominated by possession it is little wonder that he has been chosen to go to the annual all-star Probowl game as the AFL's defensive safety every year since 2004, only missing out last year through recurrences of that same injury.

But there are plenty of hairy sporting superstars out there. Yes sir there are. What about all those hair-banded shots of Ronnie O’Sullivan or Dayfid Beck’em? Think of the scorpion kick from Colombian goalkeeper Rene Higuita and you’ll be recalling dozens of long haired sports stars, each one more awesome than the last.

What’s more is Higuita used to take penalties and free kicks for the national team. The man scored eight goals for Colombia. Naturally he's great friends with Maradona (played in Diego’s farewell match), and after retiring this January at the age of 43 he has said he wants to get into politics to tackle the drugs trade. What. A. Dude. And what hair.

And then there’s Dennis Lillee the great Australian fast bowler; seen here bowling with a terrifying nine slip fielders awaiting an edge from the trembling batsman. The batter isn't even a tailender. Top order chap named Peter Petherick who, inevitably, was out "bowled Lillie" for 1.

Crickey

Lille was an inspiration to fellow Aussies Glenn McGrath and - to a lesser extent - Jason Gillespie (Gillespie also employed a hairband for his flowing locks). On his retirement from Tests in 1984, Lillee held the record for the most number of Test wickets having taken a staggering 355 from the 70 he played.

In spite of this he is possibly best remembered by non cricket followers as man who tried to use an aluminium bat to improve his measly batting average of 13 runs per innings. Needless to say after one shot the umpires were none too impressed.

So lots of superb sportsmen have had lengthy hair at one time or another. Big deal you say? Who cares you say? Well maybe in some weird dimension lengthy hair gives these men an advantage; but even if it did I wouldn’t care.

For me, simply seeing a rugby ball carrying Sebastien Chabal charging full pace at a weedy, shaved headed, diminutive scrum half is awesome beyond belief. And I'm sure we all recall that well known mathematical corollary to Sportsman + Long Hair = Great Sportsman which states that awesomeness comes to apply to just about everything else that sportsman ever does.

Because today, friends, the moral of the story is just that: “Awesomeness comes to those with long, matted, greasy hair”.

And by the by, Troy Polamalu just had his hair insured for $1 million. You think I’m kidding?